YOUR MARRIAGE
CONSTANTLY LOVING
12 Ways to Show Your Husband He's #1 in Your Life:
- Welcome
him home with warmth and delight. Freshen your makeup, squirt
some perfume on and greet him with a big hug and kiss when he walks
in the door. Every man likes to come home to people who light up
when they see him. Get your kids excited that dad is coming. Really
make an effort that he sees the pleasure you derive from having him
arrive – in your tone of voice, your facial expression, your
appearance and your behaviour. You will teach your kids so much
about your values, priorities and relationship through this key
moment of the day.
- Look
great. Take great care in your personal grooming to look
terrific – feminine, attractive, appealing. Men are wired quite
differently than women and so much goes in through the senses. Be
aware of that and don't let your appearance slip for anything. You
must always remain the apple of his eye, no matter what your budget,
lifestyle or work at hand may be.
- Compliment
your husband often on his strengths in front of the children.
People in strong families care deeply for each other and let each
other know this on a regular basis. Focus more on your husband's
strengths than his defects. Accept him the way he is – a
masterpiece in progress. Too often we zoom in with our microscope on
all that's not working right. Throw the microscope out and start
looking at the man you love. Verbalize many times your appreciation
for his manliness, his achievements, his help, his support. No
husband is perfect, but the more you treat him like your knight
in shining armour, the more he will try to be better. Every
enduring marriage involves an unconditional commitment to an
imperfect person. Don't forget that.
- Thank
your husband often for the little and big things he does for you
and the kids. We can't afford to take our husband for granted and
giving sincere thanks builds a positive atmosphere where bonds of
emotional connection are nurtured. Go all out in honoring him
on his birthday, your anniversary and Father's Day – decorate,
make a great meal, have the kids make pictures highlighting why they
think Dad is such a hero, put up photos from past memorable events,
recount the things you love most about him. How much this will
strengthen your marriage, teach the kids what a fine father they
have and concretize the incredible worth of a great man!
- Plan
dates with your husband. He's often so busy with work, he can't
take care of the details. Make it easier for him. Book the day and
time, get the babysitter and plan an outing that would make you both
happy. It could be expensive like going to the theatre or dirt cheap
like going for a walk and grabbing some dessert. It could even be
staying at home and watching a great movie together when the kids
are in bed. Just realize you need time alone together away from the
house and kids. Get into the habit early in your marriage and you
will reap tremendous rewards later.
- Leave
little love notes around the house where only he will find
them. For example cut out a dozen hearts and write things like, “You
are my hero”; “I appreciate how hard you work to take care of
me”; “Your smile is absolutely beautiful”; “My heart is
totally yours” etc. Your husband needs your admiration and
affection. Find a million and one ways to show it. Plant a love
note inside his napkin for his lunch – even something as
cute as “Peekaboo, I love you” will put a smile on his face and
warm his heart for you.
- Cook
meals that he particularly enjoys on days where you find he
needs a lift. The old line, “The way to a man's heart is his
stomach” is still true. Learn to cook and have on hand what he
really enjoys—whether it be main courses, desserts, munchies or
just a beer. That added touch of thinking about him will mean a lot
to him, even if you have to juggle the budget a bit to pull it off
once in a while.
- Make
yourself more available for your husband. Be willing to
linger over a cup of tea and listen to his day. Don't be
afraid to tell your kids you need some time with dad and you would
like them to find something to do. Set aside mutually decided
evenings where you will forego other interests to just be with him
and stay up a little later. It's good to have conversations about
him, his interests, his dreams, his problems. Don't just focus on
you and the kids. You are the only personin his life who really
cares about him. Make sure he constantly knows this.
- Put
aside the money to go for an overnight, even if it's in an
inexpensive nearby motel. Take time to go out for supper, hold
hands, walk together, share your life together. You must keep the
romance very high in your marriage. Never pinch your money so
tightly that you deny something so essential to the growth of your
marriage. Find a relative, trusted friend or a family to take your
kids in for the night. If kids learn young that you put your
marriage as a high priority, they will not be adversely affected by
having someone look after them for a night.
- In
front of your children, be willing to show your husband great
affection - - hugs, kisses, holding hands, neck massage, sitting
arm in arm on the couch, etc. Keep it within limits but let them see
how two people love each other. Behind closed doors, be
generous with your affections for your husband. Don't be
passive. Your husband wants you to desire him. He is wired
differently from you and his physical passions are strong. Overcome
your tiredness and lack of interest to really please him. The more
you seek to give of yourself to your husband, the happier you will
find yourself.
- Make
an effort to hang around couples who have successful marriages.
Find them, get to know them and spend time with them. It will help
you a lot when you are on the bumpy part of your marriage. You need
their friendship, their example and advice to weather the storms
every marriage faces. They will help you a lot to stay faithful to
your vows.
- Pray
for your husband, about your husband and with your husband. Prayer
is the most powerful tool you have to make your marriage a “10”,
especially when you pass through the bumpy and sometimes critical
moments of your life together. Realize God will help you through
anything, as long as you ask. Learn to lean on Him on good times and
He will be there much more strongly in difficult times.
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
NEW!
A national bestseller that helps you find out how your spouse really wants to be loved by you in a constant way. Well worth picking up for an excellent, easy and constructive read.
There's so
much more we can be doing. Email me some of the little details of
affection you show your husband and expand our horizons in this
important aspect of marriage.
